It's Potty Time!

Well, after much thought and careful consideration (and the fact that I'm just fed up with this whole training or lack thereof) I have decided to embark on the terrifying journey of the infamous Three Day Potty Training (click here for the lowdown.)

My friend Kristen did it with her son Myles (who is Jude's age) and had astounding success. And then her friend did it and had the same results. I was pretty excited about it until I actually read the e-book. And then I realized that this was a joke - and yet no joke at all. This was a serious boot camp, crazy, fanatical sort of training.

Jude hasn't been doing so hot in potty land. Oh he uses it at daycare here and there. But he just won't go at home. In the last month I have witnessed him going about two times. I'll ask him if he needs to go and he'll say "No. No. I don't need to potty." He'll say this whilst taking a crap right there in his pants. He doesn't care. He's gotten to the point where he likes his diapers and damn the fool who tries to separate him from their cottony (is it cotton?) goodness.

The training seems daunting.

Step one - ceremonially throw all of your diapers and pull-ups in the garbage.

Say what?!?

Then put on the big boy undies and let the fun begin. Oh - and say "Tell me when you need to go potty" at least a hundred times per day. Oh yeah and you can't let them out of your sight - not even for a minute or they'll sneak off and soil themselves in the nearest corner.

But supposedly it clicks. Sometimes not until the end of day three. But it clicks. Supposedly.

There are all sorts of other little rules you're supposed to follow but I'm not going to rewrite the whole thing here because I'm tired and I really need to mentally prepare myself for tomorrow.

Otherwise we are physically prepared. We have 21 pairs of underwear. And the book said you may go through 20 pairs a day! But we're prepared. I have the mop on standby. I have four sets of sheets for his bed and a rubber sheet underneath. I also have "poo poo prizes" although I think I will just turn them into general potty prizes. My sister went to Dollar Tree today and found a jackpot of little Shrek items - magnets and stickers and figurines. So I put them all in a big gift bag and I'm going to play the grab bag game with him tomorrow. For his first successful potty trip, he'll get to close his eyes and reach in and pull out a prize. I'm thinking he'll love that. Especially when he sees that it's a Shrek prize. Then I'll give out the prizes as I see fit.

I really have a lot of hope. You know, after I read the book, I was all "Shyyeah. Rrright." (OMG that is so Wayne's World circa 1992. So old it's not even funny.) So I decided I would google this method and read all the negative things I was hoping to find on message boards across the internet. Strangely there weren't that many negative comments. In fact, most of the comments said that it was a miracle and that it worked so well people were stunned.

And then there was the whole issue of daycare. How was I going to explain to his teacher that I was planning to train him in three days without seeming like and absolute freak. So I asked her on Wednesday morning if she'd ever heard of this wacky three day thing. And, much to my shock (and chagrin) she informed me that not only had she heard of it, but that one of Jude's classmates just did it and she is working with him on a daily basis and he's doing great. How's that for a crazy omen?

So tomorrow morning we begin a new chapter in the quest for Big Boydom. I hope I can stay consistent and positive and not go completely insane (again.)

There will be plenty of gory details after all is said and done. I'm sure I'll have an interesting blog to share.

Wish me luck!