Now Preaching the Gospel of Spanx
I had a religious experience in the dressing room at Lane Bryant today.
Usually the only kind of religious experience one might have in such a place is a semi-sincere repentence for having so many dietary indiscretions.
Today I found "Foundation Salvation." My flab-ulanche was introduced to the magnificent Spanx!
And I have to give a huge shout out to Gina whose comment yesterday convinced me to give them a shot. Even though I thought they were just some glorified, footless, control top pantyhose that my stomach would laugh in defiance at (think Jabba's laugh).
But no.
I called Lane Bryant earlier in the day because I knew they sold them but I only saw them in packages. So I figured it was just a buy and try situation. But they said you could actually try them on in the store. So I headed over to the nearest LB on my lunchbreak and grabbed a pair off the shelf.
"Oh sister!"
A lady in the store approached.
"Oh girl I wear my Spanx every day! You are going to LOVE them."
I had my doubts but I laughed and played a long like I believed.
I entered the dressing room with three dresses in my left hand - all made of a material that was sure to cling to every roll on my body and in every bakery within a six mile radius. And the Spanx in my right hand, of course.
So I took out the Spanx. Certainly didn't look too promising. Looked like pantyhose - only a little thicker.
I sat down to try them on. And thus began that cockeyed waltz we do with girdles and such. I flopped. I jumped and flopped. I twisted and gasped. I laughed a little as I watched this go down in the mirror.
And then they were on. I chose the Higher Power ones that rise all the way up to just under the "girls." And they also go down to the mid-thigh.
Hmmm . . . I studied myself. I did look smaller. I did look smoother. I did have a much nicer silhouette. But the true test would come with the dresses.
I tried on the first one.
It looked . . . great! I was stunned. I just turned and looked at myself and couldn't believe it. Not a roll in sight.
The second dress was way too Mama Cass so the Spanx were lost on that one.
But the third dress looked really good as well. I was ecstatic. I immediately called Chad from the dressing room to tell him of my amazing good fortune. He was really thrilled, let me tell you. (ha ha)
And so I plunked down the money and bought those suckers. They were a little pricey, but totally worth it. I didn't buy a dress yet but I plan to go shopping very soon. I'm so excited. I can finally wear dresses again. I mean, I haven't worn a dress since my wedding day!
All thanx to Spanx!
(Sorry - I tend to get a little corny when I'm excited.)
Usually the only kind of religious experience one might have in such a place is a semi-sincere repentence for having so many dietary indiscretions.
Today I found "Foundation Salvation." My flab-ulanche was introduced to the magnificent Spanx!
And I have to give a huge shout out to Gina whose comment yesterday convinced me to give them a shot. Even though I thought they were just some glorified, footless, control top pantyhose that my stomach would laugh in defiance at (think Jabba's laugh).
But no.
I called Lane Bryant earlier in the day because I knew they sold them but I only saw them in packages. So I figured it was just a buy and try situation. But they said you could actually try them on in the store. So I headed over to the nearest LB on my lunchbreak and grabbed a pair off the shelf.
"Oh sister!"
A lady in the store approached.
"Oh girl I wear my Spanx every day! You are going to LOVE them."
I had my doubts but I laughed and played a long like I believed.
I entered the dressing room with three dresses in my left hand - all made of a material that was sure to cling to every roll on my body and in every bakery within a six mile radius. And the Spanx in my right hand, of course.
So I took out the Spanx. Certainly didn't look too promising. Looked like pantyhose - only a little thicker.
I sat down to try them on. And thus began that cockeyed waltz we do with girdles and such. I flopped. I jumped and flopped. I twisted and gasped. I laughed a little as I watched this go down in the mirror.
And then they were on. I chose the Higher Power ones that rise all the way up to just under the "girls." And they also go down to the mid-thigh.
Hmmm . . . I studied myself. I did look smaller. I did look smoother. I did have a much nicer silhouette. But the true test would come with the dresses.
I tried on the first one.
It looked . . . great! I was stunned. I just turned and looked at myself and couldn't believe it. Not a roll in sight.
The second dress was way too Mama Cass so the Spanx were lost on that one.
But the third dress looked really good as well. I was ecstatic. I immediately called Chad from the dressing room to tell him of my amazing good fortune. He was really thrilled, let me tell you. (ha ha)
And so I plunked down the money and bought those suckers. They were a little pricey, but totally worth it. I didn't buy a dress yet but I plan to go shopping very soon. I'm so excited. I can finally wear dresses again. I mean, I haven't worn a dress since my wedding day!
All thanx to Spanx!
(Sorry - I tend to get a little corny when I'm excited.)
posted by lovemydox at 9:15 PM
6 Comments:
I'm glad you tried them - they are awesome. The only bad part is trying to get them on in a no air-conditioning house in 95 degree, 90% humidity day.
Ha ha ha!! I was inducted into the Spanx cult last month or so. They're wonderful....but what about that "sanitary window"?!?!? Kinda frightening indeed, as mine doesn't exactly stay shut, if you know what I mean.
oh i love mine too. but only when i want to wear a dress for something. i dont think i could stand to wear them all day. i do wear panties on top of them though because of the "sanitary window" thing. yeah too breezy. in fact i think the first time i put my panties on i said- oh so thats how they are supposed to look. i had gotten used to the ridiculous rolling down in the front. ugh.
"Cockeyed waltz we do with girdles and such." Great writing! I love Spanx too and I completely understand your enthusiasm. Although they are a little hard to get into, and although there is a little sigh of comfort getting out of them at the end of a really long day, they make dresses fit so well and they can be worn all day and everyday. Really! I'm almost doing it. And like you, I praised them ecstatically to my husband who said to me: "You know honey, I wonder if there's ever been a woman who's ever been this happy about her girdle." Glad to know there's another one out there! LOL
Guuurrl, them Spanx sure did me some good. After eatin' all them fried chicken and shrimps you know I had to open that sanitation window a while. I want to check K-Mark to see what they sell the Spanx for. I need tarlet paper anyway. When I first heard of spanx gurl, I said no thank you cause I had enough of that already.
But when I tried one gurl it did some wonders for me. Well, tell your mama'enem I said how she durin.
~ Shirley Q
Hey Everyone!
It's Karimah from Spanx. I'm glad to hear you love Spanx! Right now we are offering free shipping at www.spanx.com. Enjoy!
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