Lovemydox: Garden of Eatin'

Jimmy Buffet really needs to write a new ode to another fabulous frozen drink. And he needs to call it Pinacoladaland. Because that's where I resided, kids - for four lovely days. Although there was no "wasting away" about it. Quite the contrary . . .

We ate like kings! Like obese, hedonistic, hysterical kings. The food was out of this world. All very tres gourmet. . . but I'll come back to that.

So . . . Cozumel. My first trip to Mexico. My first trip out of the country. My first passport stamp.

It was everything I hoped it would be. Breathtakingly beautiful. Relaxing. And I brought home a little tan.

We spent much of our time swimming and eating and drinking. Ah the drinks. You know, an all-inclusive resort is totally the way to go. I highly recommend it. Makes you feel like you aren't paying for anything (even though your entire stimulus check and then some paid for the trip months ago, jackass.) Of course, the old "I got the next round (snicker snicker)" or "I'll buy you a drink (tee hee)" lines get old real fast. But you don't care too much because you are sipping on the best pina colada you have ever tasted as you stare out into the turquoise waters of the Carribbean, Enya's Carribbean Blue playing in your head.

I miss that place.

The food was incredible. There were three restaurants at the resort - a fancy asian one, an Italian one and a Mexican one. Guess which one the fools from Louisiana didn't eat at?

Yep - you guessed it. I ate no Mexican food in Mexico. I am an idiot.

Granted - there were a few Mexicanish items on the lunch and breakfast buffets every day. But I really wanted to have Mexican food while there. I mean - come on.

The wedding was absolutely beautiful. Hot as hell - but beautiful. The bride and groom looked so perfect together- tan and healthy and radiant. I would have cried had I not been about to spontaneously combust. But it was worth it. The heat was worth it.

I did the whole shopping in the local stores and talking the prices down gig. It was cool. I was a tad bit tipsy when I did it so I was very, very confident.

"Eighty five dollars? For those silver earrings? I'll give you $15"

The shopkeeper is stunned.

I start walking away.

"Senorita! 50 dollars! . . . 20 dollars! . . . FIFTEEN FIFTY!"

I just kept walking. Did I say confident? I meant I was a bit of an ass. Oh well - only in Mexico.

All in all - we had a lovely, relaxing time. Our room was great. Wonderful bed and jacuzzi for two. Some interesting television - The Simpsons and Family Guy en espanol. Quite hilarious.

The only sad thing is that we could not find our camera battery charger the night before we left. We searched the house and just couldn't locate it. So at about 9:30, I rushed to Walmart and bought a little $90 camera off the rack. The pics came out okay, I suppose, but I can't imagine what our very nice camera might have done. Sigh. Here are some pics:

The view from our balcony.

The beach we visited on day two. The sand was crazy coarse and burned the crap out of my feet. But it was lovely to see waves lapping on the shore and swim in the Carribbean.